INVEST IN WOMEN | WOMEN IN PLANNING
“ So many times , we see people who are actually signing that prenup , maybe three weeks or four weeks or two months before the marriage .”
— LISA ZEIDERMAN
As for what should be in a prenup or postnup , Zeiderman said these agreements should also include estate rights in the event a husband dies . She noted that under New York law , for example , the wife is entitled to one-third of the estate if the husband dies without a will or an elector . A wife should also put in for spousal support and for the equitable distribution of the assets the couple has accumulated . “ Equitable ” does not necessarily mean 50 % in every state .
A conversation about prenups and postnups is difficult to broach with clients , noted Carol Lee Roberts , the president of the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts and the panel ’ s moderator . Roberts reminded advisors in the room that these contracts should be treated like anything else that protects their clients .
“ You would think nothing of asking your clients if they have disability insurance and telling them they are more likely to get disabled than be dead before age 65 . We all make sure our clients have adequate insurance ,” Roberts said . “ It ’ s the nature of our work , and this is just one more thing . … A marriage will end either by one of the parties dying or divorce . It ’ s guaranteed like all the other inevitable things we address with our clients .”
Roberts noted that 41 % of first marriages end in divorce , as do 60 % of second marriages and 73 % of third marriages , which makes it crucial for advisors to talk about it .
“ This is not a taboo thing ,” added panelist Kimberly Foss , a senior wealth advisor with Mercer Advisors . “ Women work , so we want to know that your asset is protected .”
Foss said it ’ s important that clients understand what it ’ s like to go through the process of a prenuptial agreement and it may be that advisors have to sit with the clients at the negotiating table with the husband-to-be . The client has to answer some questions : “ So , if she lives in a
“ A marriage will end either by one of the parties dying or divorce . It ’ s guaranteed like all the other inevitable things we address with our clients .”
— CAROL LEE ROBERTS
house , where does she get to live ? Who is going to be the caregiver and what benefits will she have long term ?
“ What I do is list those [ questions ] out for her and then I could be the voice when we go in ,” Foss said , adding that this is not about teaming up on the future spouse . She noted that while advisors are not divorce litigators , they still need to be that voice , since the client may not be comfortable speaking up for herself , even in the second marriage .
Zeiderman agreed . “ So many times , we see people who are actually signing that prenup , maybe three weeks or four weeks or two months before the marriage ,” which is never a good idea . Without an advisor to lead a client through it , the client is likely to fold — and concede to the future spouse ’ s demands .
Zeiderman said her firm usually offers to vet husbands-to-be when a client is considering a second marriage “ because we could often see things that they may not be able to see .” But the clients usually reject the offer .
Advisors will likely have different discussions with clients depending on their ages . Zeiderman said clients in their 40s , 50s and 60s are often “ fighting for every cent that they can get for spousal support or fighting not to pay it ,” while younger clients are keeping their income and assets separate .
“ So they are coming into my office , and they are being very intentional about the fact that [ both spouses are ] going to stay in the workforce and that they do not end up in a situation where they are supporting the other person ,” she said . “ So they are waiving their spousal support and they are doing it intentionally .”
Foss , however , cautions that keeping separate assets and income could be problematic unless it ’ s discussed often . “ I will just tell you in my personal life [ with ] separate accounts and separate
“This is not a taboo thing . Women work , so we want to know that your asset is protected .”
— KIMBERLY FOSS
assets — I know it ’ s the wedge that broke my marriage apart . I mean , it was the money ,” she said . For that reason , she warns that people in their 30s getting married for the first time should have their separate accounts but also have a shared account as well .
16 | FINANCIAL ADVISOR MAGAZINE | JUNE 2023 WWW . FA-MAG . COM