The Big Picture continued from page 21
standing in the way , unwilling to let go of control . Nor should they be unwilling to step up and take responsibility . Being a leader means bearing that burden of decisiveness . The answer can never be , “ I don ’ t know what to do , but I don ’ t want you doing it .”
• More shovels , fewer critics . It ’ s the rule of construction sites that there is always one guy with a shovel in the ditch digging while four guys with cigarettes dangling from their mouths say , “ You are doing it wrong .” The same happens in every boardroom . One person brings
no matter what the disagreements are , you must always support and never undermine your partner , especially in front of the team . it ’ s a bit like Dad criticizing mom in front of the kids . it ’ s toxic and damaging to them .
an idea and a plan , and then four partners gang up on her to tell her all the reasons it won ’ t work . Constructive criticism and brainstorming are valuable and should be encouraged . But at the same time , a good partnership cultivates respect , rewards the person with the shovel and gently encourages others to join in and help out .
• Supportive enthusiasm . Listening skills are critical in partnerships . But many people don ’ t listen all that well ; they ’ re usually just waiting to jump in with their own thoughts and tell you what they really want . In a healthy partnership , however , both parties listen with an open mind . If they have something to add or a different point of view , they tactfully find ways to contribute and improve the dialogue , rather than be dismissive and ignore other people ’ s ideas .
• Run the play we called in the huddle .
We heard Sam Allred , the CEO and founder of the Upstream Academy , say this , though he might have been quoting one of the many great CPA firms he works with . The principle is that no matter what disagreements the partners have in the “ huddle ,” once the decision is made , we all support it the best we can — even if one or more of us didn ’ t like it . It ’ s impossible to always agree , but if the attitude is “ We agreed to disagree ,” then such passive aggression will sap the group ’ s energy and kill constructive change . The ability to instead unite around the plan , no matter what , when it finally emerges is vital for the success of a business .
• “ Putting the fish on the table .” This is an Italian expression and it means bringing up difficult issues in a relationship . The origins of the expression might have been among the fishmongers in Southern Italy , a reminder that they shouldn ’ t deal from under the counter . It ’ s vital that people can bring up difficult issues to their partners and feel secure in how the problems will be handled . Without the open dialogue , resentment grows “ in the dark ” and relationships suffer . As every kid knows , the monsters under the bed only exist in the dark . Once you turn on the light , they go back into hiding .
• Sparring . To train without hurting each other , boxers “ spar ”— a form of fighting in which you throw punches , but perhaps not as hard as you can . ( If a boxer otherwise fought too hard while training , they would never make it to competition since they would be in- jured , bloodied or concussed .) Sparring means that you don ’ t go after your partner when you hurt them but rather let them catch their breath . It ’ s more about learning than winning .
It ’ s also a vital skill for business partners , a way of arguing passionately and even letting your emotions into an argument , but never hurting your partner , whom you never attack personally . Instead , you attack the issues . Again , you ’ re putting the fish on the table , dealing with difficult decisions or even interpersonal dynamics without damaging your fundamental relationship .
• Always support your partner . No matter what the disagreements are , you must always support and never undermine your partner , especially in front of the team . It ’ s a bit like Dad criticizing Mom in front of the kids . It ’ s toxic and damaging to them . The same is true in an organization : Disagreements can and should be voiced and debated in the proper setting , but partners undermining each other is not a healthy option .
Every large firm we know is led by a group of people who come together to build something they are passionate about . Whether they use the term “ partner ” or not is irrelevant . If you are in business together and you are jointly responsible for the success of the organization , you are partners .
In our experience , it ’ s the advisors in good partnerships having the best time and enjoying their work the most ( even beyond the financial success of the enterprise ). They are happier and find more fulfillment in their work . On the other hand , the advisors we know who are miserable are most of the time fighting with their colleagues .
But these good matches don ’ t just happen . They require hard work , sincerity and the gradual and systematic building of trust and mutual respect .
PhiliP Palaveev is the ceo of the ensemble Practice llc . He ’ s an industry consultant , author of the books G2 : Building the Next Generation and The Ensemble Practice and the lead faculty member for the g2 leadership institute .
STuarT Silverman is the ceo of Bluespring wealth Partners , an m & a firm focused on acquiring and partnering with high-end wealth management firms .
60 | financial advisor magazine | may 2022 www . fa-mag . com