NEXT CHAPTER

Steve Gresham

Long before the assets move , important decisions are being made — about you .

DON ’ T LIKE JERRY .”

Bonnie was very direct with her husband , Bryce , as they returned home from a meeting with their financial advisor . “ He didn ’ t look at me once after we sat down ,” she continued , “ And it ’ s not like he ’ s ever asked me what I think is important — like my work , my mother or your father .”

“ What ’ s going on ?” their 20-year-old daughter Sarah asked , entering the room and picking up on her mother ’ s tone .

“ I don ’ t like our financial advisor ,” Bonnie replied . “ But he ’ s a friend of your father ’ s .” Looking puzzled , Sarah asked , “ That guy you play golf with , Dad ?” I ’ ve known this family for decades ( though I ’ ve changed their names to protect their privacy ), and this conversation they had is likely an increasingly common one as America experiences “ peak 65 ”— the year in which more people turn 65 than ever before . The demographics show our destiny : We have 70 million baby boomers whose median age is 69 , and very often they have aging parents and adult children who could become financially dependent on them . I ’ m living this “ dream ” today with a 90-year-old mother and my children , who are the ages of 31 , 28 and 20 . I also have a grandchild on the way .

As family members age and their retirement looms — and as careers and families grow — everyone has their own concerns and their opinions . ( Like Bonnie , in my example .)

A survey of retirees by the alliance found that 41 % think they might have to live with their children .

Retirement Is A Family Affair

A new survey by the Alliance for Lifetime Income indicates that relatively young , even “ pre-retiree ” Americans ages 61 to 65 are now experiencing what we had forecast for decades : the “ sandwich ” of demands from both younger and older family . The respondents are very often providing both financial support to adult children and serving as caregivers to spouses , parents , in-laws or other relatives . This effort changes the lives of those involved . And the research suggests that both boomers and older Gen Xers bear these burdens . A survey of retirees by the alliance found that 41 % think they might have to live with their children .

Are You In Those Conversations ?

My Depression-era parents lived frugally on a modest income for most of their lives with four retirement annuities from my father ’ s work in academic medicine . But they did not have enough financial wherewithal for the potential costs of long-term care . They did not want to live with their kids . They liked living in the warmer Florida climes , not in the chilly Northeast . So the first intense “ family conversation ” that my three siblings and I had with them was about how they would pay for care and , more important , where that care might be obtained .

I will spare you the family drama . The resolution was that they would eventually go to an expensive local continuous care

MAY 2024 | FINANCIAL ADVISOR MAGAZINE | 27