Mitch Anthony
Mitch Anthony
FINANCIAL LIFE PLANNING
to arrive at a compromise with someone obsessed with an item on their mental agenda . Far too often , we have too much emotion invested in a particular point of view . We want it done our way or not at all . But if we can feel comfortable reading the defense , we ’ ll be better served than we would be if our conversational game plans were written in granite after we said “ Hello .”
Don ’ t forget that people will often argue because their feeling of dignity hangs in the balance . But when the subject at hand becomes more important to you than the person you ’ re talking to , you ’ ll lose sight of the main objective — looking good . In fact , it might be the very quality of your relationships at stake . It doesn ’ t take more than two or three disappointing talks before someone gives up on connecting with you . Once they sense that your vision doesn ’ t go beyond your nose , you ’ re written off as not worth their time .
And if someone is forced to converse with a self-involved person , perhaps through a business or family connection , they can only feign interest in the exchange and likely resent it . You don ’ t want to be on the receiving end of that resentment . But if you fail to master the art of conversation , that is where you
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Great conversationalists recognize that the biggest opportunity of all is the possibility of connecting with another human being in a meaningful way .
connectivity . You both will likely lose sight of the matter and the conversation will devolve into a hunt where one person senses a lack of respect .
Great conversationalists recognize that the biggest opportunity of all is the possibility of connecting with another human being in a meaningful way . If relationships matter to us , and if we want to ensure results , then every conversation must be about “ we ” not just “ you ” or “ me .”
“ What a wonderful person he is ,” you hear someone saying about an advisor who , with genuine curiosity , seeks to learn as much as possible about other people and their ideas .
“ I ’ m absolutely exhausted ,” says someone after conversing with the polar opposite — the rambling , opining , spouting volcano of self-indulgence .
What ’ s At Stake ?
It ’ s important to ask yourself : “ What is at stake in this conversation ?” It might be bigger than just winning business or can end up . The good news is , again , that you can avoid this fate by paying more attention to people than to your own agenda .
You might be in a conversation with someone about a personal matter , an important business matter or a money matter , or you might be clarifying a misunderstanding . But whatever it is , you must be aware of a discussion ’ s significance . You might not have as much skin in the game as the other party , but you might have something to gain ( or lose ) without even realizing it .
Conversations set people apart , either in isolation or in veneration . It is in the exchange of conversation that we connect or disconnect with people , promote or impede progress , affirm or deny our credibility , and seal our legacy and reputation .
MITCH ANTHONY is the creator of Life-Centered Planning , the author of 12 books for advisors , and the co-founder of ROLadvisor . com and LifeCentered- Planners . com .
22 | FINANCIAL ADVISOR MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2023 WWW . FA-MAG . COM